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Date: Thu, 14 Sep 2000 09:29:04 +0100 (BST)
From: "Todd C. Kleckner" <tck@elec.gla.ac.uk>
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Subject: Glastonbury - the beginning, middle and end bits.
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Precedence: bulk
It all started when 2 boys woke up in a cloud. In a way it was the perfect
start. Or a perfect start.
Eilers and Soundsystem Matt woke up on the top of Glastonbury Tor with
tennis ball mouth, a retired junkie for company and no sign of the ground.
They should have guessed that it would be the start of something
beautiful.
The retired junkie was called Ben, and he showed them where the chalice
well was and how there was a red spring and a white spring. In return
they gave him a light and invited him to the Gunslinger. They had to leave
him then as there was so much to do. They only had one free day in a town
which offered penguin hats, plastic birds nests and a shop owned by a man
who had changed his name to Rob Free Cannabis. Needless to say, they spent
their time wisely and by the time the outlaws started arriving all
essential purchases had been made, relations were established with the
local councillor ("You might be offered various substances. Be careful.
Some are pretty poor quality." - he is the dean), and our flag was
flying.
Substance Abuse hosted their first tournament, and if you ask me, it
wasn't bad at all. If you asked Madam Mayor of Glastonbury, it was the
best thing that had happened since Adam and Eve ran out of apples* and
wanted some exercise. Actually, if pushed, we'd probably agree with her.
After all, there was sunshine, constant victuals and bevvy, flat green
fields, 12 teams of beautiful people, a whole town of people who thought
that frisbees were brilliant and weren't afraid to smile about it, a
mechanical bull (and some pretty ace rodeo riders), a gun, frontier
bourbon for all, skanking sounds broadcast live from the roof of the
pavillion by the monkey-o-matic sound system, a club for Heroes, and
everyones favourite trans-continental moustachioed cyclist called Everett
(check him out at http://www.new-millennium-ride.org ) and authentic
(ye-haw!) texans. Thanks for your services friends and keep on rolling.
People came and played. And they finished in something like the following
order (reverse, I think) ..?
Bessie and the Mootones
Mwnci See
Blue Broncos
Sneekys
Bears
Substance Abuse
BAF
MMJ (*winners of the Wyatt Earp trophy)
Superfly (*spirit winners, and unlucky victims of Cypriot Ouzo)
Point Blank
Fever
RED (*winners of the brass spurs)
Other notables:
1. To the person who woke up the commune with deafening vomit on Sunday
morning. Aces. Welcome to the wonderful world of rockstardom.
2. To the top cowboy/cowgirl of the weekend, as demonstrated on the
mechanical bull:
Eilers(SA) - 45s (*winner of a bullet-holed cowboy hat)
Elisabeth(SA) - 32 seconds
and honorable(?) mention to Jack (SF) with 41/2? seconds
3. Apologies to the victim of Glen's vicious yo-yoing on the
Friday night and even more apologies for the laughter that erupted.
4. Thanks to MMJ for throwing up .. cash for the most corrupt beer race
known to mankind. May you kids never out do yourself ..
Thanks for coming. Aces, fly high, see y'all next time. And practice up
on your draw, kids ... cause you'll never know what might roll into town
next year.
Substance Abuse Inc.